Undeniable
by Hannah Volturi
Summary: Edward Cullen walked into the bedroom of his apartment expecting to find his girlfriend of six years. Instead, he found three things that would change his life: his heroin stash, a positive pregnancy test, and an empty closet. AU/AH. I don't own Twilight.
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

Edward Cullen walked into the bedroom of his apartment expecting to find his girlfriend of six years sleeping. Instead, he found three things that would change his life completely. The first two lay seemingly innocent on the bedspread, though they were far from it. He saw his small black bag that was generally stored in the bottom of the drawer in his nightstand. He didn't need to open it to find out that it contained everything he'd need for his next secret hit of heroin. The next thing he saw made him want to vomit—a pregnancy test with two visible lines, he was going to become a father. Edward knew that he would give up the drugs immediately. Things needed to change, for Bella, for their baby, hell, even purely for himself. He went to the closet to change out of his work clothes so he could be more comfortable while he waited for Bella to come home, they had things they needed to discuss, and that is where he discovered the third thing: every hint of the last six years of Bella, was gone from the apartment.

The twist Edward felt in his gut was staggering, the closet that had once been 75% Bella's clothing and 10% silly photobooth pictures they had collected over the past 6 years was currently only filled with Edward's clothes at 15% capacity.

He wandered back through the apartment, wondering how he hadn't noticed the difference when he walked in the door. The box of Grandma Swan's kooky Christmas ornaments that was shoved under the entertainment center from New Years until Thanksgiving was gone, the garage sale lawn gnome that once lived in the once full cupboards was gone, along with Bella's extensive collection of plates and cups and bowl from different countries and thrift stores, all that remained was the unused set of matching red plates Esme had bought the couple as a housewarming gift. Everything that made the apartment _theirs_ was gone. Now it felt like his, and he didn't like that. Without knowing what else to do, Edward Cullen sat on the living room couch, and propped his feet up on the coffee table which immediately shifted its weight and sank in the far right corner. After closer inspection, Edward noticed that even the Charles Dickens anthology that once leveled the table had been removed along with the pin up girl coasters.

And now, just like his coffee table, Edward's life was unbalanced.


	2. Chapter One: 6y 10m 1w 4d

A/N: This story definitely did a lot better than any of my others after only an hour. Thank you for the reviews and favorites and alerts, everyone, it's inspiring.

I have never done heroin, so I don't know what it's like. This story probably lacks a lot of facts, and goes more off of what I feel like writing. Also, I'm a high school Senior, so updating is going to be infrequent, I've got AP classes and thesis papers and college applications that are pretty much a kajillion times more important than this story.

Also, I don't have a beta and I have this weird style of writing where I just write it how I would say it. It won't always been grammatically correct, in fact, I'm sure that there are going to be errors galore, but I will try to stay on top of spelling and punctuation. Sorry. If someone is interested in beta-ing this story, let me know.

I've only been to Washington once, and that was Seattle in March for two days. I didn't go much of anywhere other than Pike Place, so instead of setting the story somewhere I'm unfamiliar with, it will be set in Denver, CO where I've spent most of my life.

**Chapter One: 6 years, 10 months, 1 week, and 4 days earlier…**

Edward Cullen was nothing short of shy and unapproachable, and that was what attracted Bella Swan to him in the first place. She had been in college for three years, and she knew how the guys worked—if you gave them an inch, they took a mile. Edward Cullen was different. If you gave him an inch, he took a step back.

But with Bella, Edward seemed like a different person. See, they met in a grocery store, and while that might sound cute and romantic, it really was anything but. Edward was trying to find condoms for his brother, and Bella was looking for a pregnancy test for a friend. They might not have acknowledged each other if it wasn't for the older woman that slipped in between them, quickly locating a bottle of Astroglide and mumbling some stupid comment about, "it looks like we're all here for the same thing" even though they really weren't.

It was then that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen acknowledged each other, the attraction undeniable. As if it happened in slow motion, they simultaneously noticed what they held in their hands and explained that they were purchasing for others. Edward embarrassingly blurted out that he was a virgin, something even his brother didn't know, and Bella said she'd been abstinent since sophomore year (this was mostly a lie, since she was too drunk to remember her most recent escapade with co-worker, Jacob Black, that had occurred just two weeks prior).

Bella found virgin Edward cute, and Edward found that Bella made him wish he knew how to rock her world. They assisted each other with the purchases (Edward's older sister Alice had used First Response, and Bella preferred the 'ribbed for her pleasure').

They parted ways without exchanging numbers, and both regretted it immediately afterwards. Over the next five weeks they both found themselves occasionally thinking about the Rite Aid encounter that had lasted under five minutes, each playing out different scenarios quite frequently. Bella found herself analyzing every bit of their conversation, only coming up with potentially intelligent and 'cute' responses now that it was far too late. Edward on the other hand found himself fantasizing, it was something he had done frequently since he was fourteen, but it was the first time it had ever been about someone _real._

It took five weeks for a second encounter, and they both made sure not to let this one go to waste. It was simple, but definitely more romantic than their original meeting. It turned out they both enjoyed hot beverages from Stella's coffee house. And Edward had convinced himself only days before, that if he ever saw Bella again, he wouldn't let it go to waste.

He was shy and terribly nervous, but he managed to swallow his anxiety (and several gulps of his decaf coffee, which Bella always argued was the "dumbest invention ever") and asked her a simple question that would set in stone the next seven years of their lives.

"So, Bella, do you happen to like sushi?"

She responded with a yes, and he quickly took her across the street to Sushi Den. It was early on a Wednesday, so they didn't have to wait to sit at the sushi bar. He pronounced each dish correctly, and knew the proper sushi eating etiquette, and that was how Edward Cullen managed to impress Bella Swan.

Because she had lied when she said she liked sushi. The truth was, she loved it.

I know that this is short. Once I get more into the flow of this story, the posts will be longer. But I need your opinion on a few things in the next few chapters before I can really settle in to this story.

How much do you want to see of B & E's past and how much would you like to see of their present?  
I'd like to figure out how to split this up.  
I could alternate each chapter, I could do all an abbreviated past and get to the present in about ten-ish chapters, I could write all present and do memories spliced into the chapters, I could keep it entirely present and do past outtakes….just let me know what you want to see from these two.

Also, I can't decide if I want Edward to already have a drug problem before dating Bella, or for it to be developed later on in their relationship. Thoughts? Opinions?


	3. Chapter Two: No Colgate

_AN: So, I tried dashes, and I tried asterisks and ff just doesn't seem to acknowledge that there is a page break. So now I'm trying italics for author's notes, and just plain ol' font for story. I'm sorry if it confused you last chapter._

_Much thanks for reviews, they mean a lot._

_I don't know if it's just because I'm obsessed with the song, but I hear Skinny Love by Bon Iver at the beginning of this chapter._

**Chapter Two: No Colgate**

**(Present)**

It took four hours for Edward Cullen to acknowledge the truth: Bella left him. This information didn't quite sink in until he went to brush his teeth. Next to the faucet, there had once been a childish plastic cup with two toothbrushes, and a tube of toothpaste. Instead, his blue toothbrush was placed carefully beside the sink, almost looking as though it had always been that way. Also, there was no fucking Colgate. Apparently, even the toothpaste was Bella's.

In retrospect, it was probably his toothbrush that had set him off. Not the lack of hers. The way that his toothbrush was calmly removed from the cup made him think back on just how emotionless Bella had been about leaving. Nothing was broken. There was no confrontational screaming match. Everything of Edward's had been handled carefully.

When you find out that the person you love and live with has been hiding a serious drug problem, you get emotional. When you get emotional, you get careless and confrontational. When you get careless, you break things, and you definitely don't calmly set down a toothbrush. There was no confrontation, all his belongings had been left unharmed, and this was how Edward Cullen came to the conclusion that Bella Swan was never in love with him.

This conclusion broke him, and two hours later he was the highest he had ever been, holding his cell phone as loosely as possible with swollen, blood-stained hands and he cried uncontrollably into Bella's voicemail for the fourth time in the past fifteen minutes.

It was quite possible that the only thing in the apartment Edward hadn't broken was the pregnancy test, which he was holding onto for dear life, ignoring the throbbing pain in his knuckles. He was back in the bathroom, sitting on the floor amongst broken glass and that stupid fucking toothbrush.

"…I hope our kid has your hair, mine has always been so fucking difficult, I would never wish that on anyone. And you're just so damn beautiful. A little girl that looks just like you would be so fucking perfect. Just as perfect as her beautiful, amazing, pretty, perfect mom. You're going to be the greatest mom in the world. Even better than Esme and you know she's fucking awesome. And I'll clean up my language I swear, just please love me. Please let me show you I'm sor—"

A long beep notified him that, once again, his message was too long. He called her again, and once again, she didn't pick up. It would ring all the way through and then her voice would let him know that he'd reached the voicemail of Bella Swan, and that if he left his name and his number, she'd make sure to call him back. It was torture. He was convinced that it would hurt less if she had her phone turned off, and now he was over thinking. What was she doing? Was she with another man? Were they watching him call, and listening to his messages, laughing at him? Was this baby even his? If it was, would she ever let them meet? Would he have to spend the rest of his life knowing about a child he'd never meet? Would Bella ever tell their son about him? Would his daughter ever call someone else, 'Dad'?

Edward was dying on the inside, and he would have given anything just to know what Bella was doing at that moment.

Less than a mile away, Bella tried to hold in the tears as she saw Edward's handsome face smile at her from the caller id for the sixth time. She was sitting on a shitty bed in a shitty hotel because it was the closest she could be to Edward if he needed her. It didn't take long for her phone to alert her of another voicemail. She immediately listened to it, how could she not have? They were both suffering equally in this.

His voice rumbled softly, he wasn't crying anymore, and his thoughts were less jumbled…he sounded like he was calming down and getting sober, "Bella, please. Pick up. You don't even have to talk, I just want to be reassured that you're there. Please, please pick up. Please."

If there was one thing Edward Cullen knew, it was that Bella Swan always gave in after the third 'please'.

The phone was ringing again, and so she did as he asked, and answered.

Edward let out a choked out sob when he realized that she wasn't hanging up, and that she wasn't sending it to voicemail. If there was anything that could have given him hope in that moment, it was the small static-y sounds of Bella's breaths on the other end of the line.

Edward took a few breaths to stop the tears, and then started speaking, "I'm pretty sure I fell in love with you when we were at that fucking sushi restaurant six years ago. I was really nerdy and you were just so fucking beautiful and you knew that you eat sushi with your fingers, not chopsticks. And there was just this moment, I don't even think I've fucking mentioned this before, but there was this moment where you were eating that bullshit sunomono salad thing, and you made eye contact with me and gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen. Ever. It wasn't flirty or sexy, I don't even think you were trying to impress me, but I was completely hooked. I barely even talked the rest of the night, in fact, I was thinking the whole time that I'd better talk or you'd never go on a date with me again, but I was just so hooked on every little word you had to say. And then, when we got to the end of our meal, and I offered you the last piece of nigiri and you took it and bit off half of it, and then fed me the other half…I'm pretty sure that was the moment I fell in love with you. You were the first girl I ever loved, and then like ten minutes later, when we were leaving and I helped you put on your coat, I caught a whiff of your strawberry shampoo, and I knew that you would be the last girl I would ever love. I swear, I jacked off like five times that night, I wasn't even picturing anything crude…I'd just think of you making eye contact with me, and my heart would fall into the pit of my stomach, and my dick would get hard. I was so worried that I had done something wrong, and that you would never want to see me again. I hadn't even tried to call you yet. I had wanted to call you and make sure you got home safe, but I was so worried that I would call and it would be a fake number, so worried that you had only given it to me to let me down easy. And then you showed up at my door. You had snow in your hair and your nose was really red, and you look more pale than usual. I wasn't even wondering how you knew where I lived, or what you were doing there, or that you looked like someone in a fucking Kleenex commercial, I was just so unbelievably happy to see you. It didn't matter that I was a fumbling virgin, all I knew was I loved you, and I was going to marry you one day."

"Why did you never ask me?" Bella's voice was small and watery, but Edward heard it all the same.

"I was going to. I even bought the ring and everything. It's still sitting in the box in a pair of old dress shoes I never wear in our closet. I was going to ask you three years ago. And then the Jake thing happened, and I didn't trust you anymore. And then I didn't trust myself. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't like it. It was a year after the Jake incident, and you went to visit your mom in Florida, and I had to stay for work, and all my insecurities caught up with me. You had been so attentive after the Jake thing, making me feel like I was the most amazing person ever…and then you were gone, and we were both so busy that week that we didn't talk very much, and I was just so depressed and I started drinking a lot, wondering what the hell you were ever doing with a fuck up like me.

"I was probably drunk that entire week. And then you came home, and we made love like four times that night and the next day, and I felt better. I knew you loved me. I knew you'd always come home," Edward choked up at the last sentence, "And then suddenly, we were fighting all the time. If I wasn't finding something to fight you about, I would fuck up and you'd have to try and set me in line. Then last year, things were going really good, and I was ready to ask you again, and then I heard you talking to your mom on the phone. You thought I was sleeping, and you were folding the laundry, so you had it on speakerphone. The things she said to you, Bella, they were all true. You defended me, but I knew that it would only be a matter of time before you would realize that she was right. I didn't want to propose, and make you think you had to stay. I decided that I would just enjoy my time with you, that I would love you as much as I could, and hope that it would be enough to be able to kiss you the next morning, and the next, and the next. I didn't want to complicate it with lifelong commitments. And my insecurities just became deeper and deeper as the weeks passed. And then I was drinking again, and then I smoked a little weed, which didn't help at all, and then this guy convinced me to try heroin. And it made me feel so much more confident about myself, so much more confident in our relationship. I was ready to ask you again, but I was hiding something from you. Not only was I a junkie, I was a liar. I was making up meetings so that I could get high. I was only working three times out of the ten I would say I was. I couldn't ask you to marry me unless you knew everything about me. And I couldn't tell you that I was doing the heroin, because I knew you'd leave me. And I loved you too much to do anything. I tried stopping. I was going weeks without even opening that fucking drawer, but I couldn't stop completely. I'd have a bad day, or I'd see a big, happy family, and I would just need something to make me feel better about myself. And somewhere along the way, it got to the point where you could only help me so much. I've grown up so much since I met you, but I'm still just that geeky kid with no self confidence on the inside. And I couldn't deny it anymore, Isabella. I was lying to myself for so long, thinking I could be happy if I only had you. And you helped, so much, but then it just wasn't enough anymore and I needed something else. I was afraid to go to a psychologist, afraid they would tell me some reason I couldn't be with you. And then I found a method of self medication that worked. But it only worked for so long, because without you, I'm nothing, Isabella. The drugs can't do shit if you're not here. I'll do anything, just please come home."

Bella was crying, it was probably the most she had ever cried in her entire life. She rubbed her hand along the small bump that had begun to develop on her lower abdomen before she spoke, "Get some help Edward, and then call me. Please don't talk to me again until you've been sober and you've talked to a professional about your problems."

"Isabella, wait, please don't make me miss any of our child's life!"

But Edward's plea fell on deaf ears, Bella had already hung up the phone to cry herself to sleep.

_AN: Wow, this sure was angsty. Now you know why and approximately when (about a year before this story is set) Edward started doing heroin. The next couple chapters will probably be heavy on past B&E while present B&E try to live a life away from each other._


	4. Chapter Three: A Mess of Things

_AN: It's been a while, I know. I still haven't even finished my app for Oregon. (I'm doing it tomorrow, I swear). And I have yet to hear back from PSU. But, on the plus side, it finally snowed in Colorado! And on Wednesdays next semester, I'll have three hours of Ceramics in the morning!_

_Anyways, last chapter was intense and we learned a lot. That Edward has wanted to propose for the past three years, but things always stop him (e.g. "the Jake thing", an overheard conversation between Bella and her mom, and his secret drug problem). Bella told him that he needed to talk to a professional and get sober before she'd talk to him._

_I own a Milwaukee Weiner Shop t-shirt, but not Twilight._

**Chapter Three: A Mess of Things**

**(Present)**

Edward Cullen should have checked himself into a rehab center days ago, he had heard Bella's warnings, and instead of getting help, he was doing heroin more often than ever before. At first, he blamed himself, but lately he had begun to blame Bella. He even told her as much on her voicemail.

"Bella, you're such a fucking bitch. I'm trying to fix this, and you won't even answer my phone calls. I bet you're at Jacob's house, he probably left that wife of his for you, you whore. I bet that baby isn't even mine. I'm sure it's either Black's or one of his dirty pals." He had been leaving messages like this for three days, he had yet to sleep, and yet to come down from his high.

He had been staring at the walls for three hours, plotting some really shitty things, when someone banged on the door. His heart began to race even more than it already was.

He rushed to the door, pulling it open with an excited, "Bella?"

But it wasn't Bella on the other side, it was Alice.

Alice Cullen was the definition of perfection, never a hair out of place. But today, she had makeup running down her face and was still dressed in her pajamas at three in the afternoon.

"She left, Edward. You made her leave." Alice's glare was accusing and Edward was trying to slow his brain enough to process what she was talking about.

"I know she left, Alice. I've done nothing these last few days but know that she left."

"No, Edward. Not just you. She left Denver."

Without any pause, Edward emptied his stomach onto the floor. "What do you mean she left Denver, Alice? Where did she go?"

"I don't know. She made me drop her off at the airport last night. She said that she needed to leave, and for me to tell you not to call her anymore. She said that the baby is yours, and that you will never see it. Edward, she said that she can't involve me in her baby's life, because of the connection to you. Do you have any idea of how much I fucking hate you? You're my own brother, and right now, I wouldn't care if you overdose. You're a fucking junkie, and you're a deadbeat father, just like Emmett's dad. Bella will have a beautiful child with green eyes and brown hair, who will never even know who you are, and one day, while you're begging for change in the gutter on Colfax, your kid won't even float you a quarter. Do you have any idea what Jasper and I would give if we could just get pregnant? We've been trying for years! And you just give up your baby."

"I never gave up my baby! Bella took it away from me." Edward was sobbing now. His future wasn't looking too great, and he knew it.

"And whose fault is that?" Alice sneered.

"Fucking hers, Alice. I'm trying."

"Not hard enough. Lay off the smack, and when you realize that you're the only one to blame here, call me, and I'll take you to rehab."

If Edward had any say in the matters, that would never, ever happen. He would find Bella Swan without the help of his family, and he would raise his kid. Junkie or not.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It had been four months since Bella Swan begged Alice Cullen to drop her off at DIA. At first, she was going to leave. She would've been on the next plane to Jacksonville in a heartbeat, if it wasn't for Jacob Black's phone call.

She was now living in the guest room of Jacob and Leah Black whose house was conveniently located two blocks away from St. Joseph's hospital, where she was currently sitting in a waiting room.

Today she would find out the sex of her baby. She had a feeling it was going to be a boy, but Leah was hoping for a girl.

"Bella?" The voice was too familiar for her liking, and she hoped that she could hide her face behind her hair. But there was no use, Dr. Cullen had already spotted her.

"Oh, Bella, I knew that was you. What are you doing here? Alice said you left Denver." All Bella could do in response was shrug.

Dr. Cullen caught sight of her swollen belly, and looked surprised. Apparently, no one had filled him in on the pregnancy. "How far along are you, Bella?"

"Five months."

"I don't intend to be rude, but I must know, is it Edward's?"

Bella scoffed, "Yes, Carlisle, it's Edward's. No one told you?"

Carlisle's eyes grew wider. "Who all knows?"

"Edward and Alice, for starters."

"Edward…knows? And he's not here?"

"I won't let him be here. Not until he quits the drugs."

Carlisle let out a strangled cry. "Drugs? Not only are you telling me that I'm going to be a grandfather, but you're telling me that my son is doing drugs? How bad is it?"

"It was bad when I left, Carlisle. Really bad." Bella had worked through all her anger towards Edward with the help of a therapist and was ready to forgive him, if only he would go through treatment.

"Bella, be honest with me, what is it?"

Bella looked into the face of Carlisle Cullen, and saw despair. "Carlisle, he's…he's doing heroin. You have to understand why I couldn't stay."

Carlisle felt a pang in his chest. He hadn't heard from his son in over two months, no one had. He had said he was going to find Bella, and no one has heard from him since.

"Bella, I absolutely understand. You aren't just thinking of yourself anymore…have you heard from him?"

"He calls me sometimes. It used to be every day, but now it's only about once a week. I think….I think he's starting to move on." Bella, hadn't said the words out loud yet, but the moment she did, fear gripped her. She had been counting on Edward getting through this and being there for her and their child, but with his calls dwindling, she was sure that he had chosen the drugs over her.

A short nurse entered the room, she was nothing out of the ordinary, but she managed to change lives daily. "Isabella Swan?" She called out.

Bella Swan bid Carlisle farewell, and went to discover whether she was having a boy or a girl.

_A/N: Okay, short, yeah. But I think from now until Tuesday evening I will make it my goal to post at least one short chapter per day, and then once school starts on Wednesday I will try to post a longer chapter each week. _

_We'll see._


End file.
